Some of My Story - Donate Here
I was never loved, and I never had a real friend. I always wished for both
I am a 62-year-old woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder, in Autistic burnout with Chronic C-PTSD. I am a former Evangelical Christian with lifelong religious trauma and secondary trauma from Christians and institutions that enabled and ignored abuse. It is not just me that lived with Karl's rage, my children did too. I was trapped almost immediately financially but reached out everywhere in the Christian world for help to no avail.
The people that adopted me as an infant were abusive in my childhood, which is how I developed DID which occurred before age 9. They have their hooks in my older daughter. Around 2017 autistic masking collapsed and by 2018 I had become unable to function. I asked for two things 1) safety and 2) support. I was given neither.
Christians incrementally isolated me from human connections over years and systematically obliterated financial security. My former church, Christians, friends, colleagues, and ministries which I served for 20+ years left me with nothing in divorce. That is right, zero (my ex-husband is a millionaire).
I am the only person in the world that I have found with zero support systems, and no financial means, which includes disability. I should never have needed it. I intended to use my degree, that I am 18 classes from completing with a near 4.0 GPA, for research and writing knowing I need a quiet, calm, independent atmosphere to thrive, if only I had been able to finish college.
I had to sell my car to get by in the fall of 2022 when my bank told me Linda wiped out my account. I had given her access. The funds from selling the car have run out. As I write this there is almost no food, two rolls of toilet paper, my internet is shut off, and soon my phone will be too. It is my ONLY connection to support and the world. Where I live is remote and mostly boarded up and abandoned. I became extremely agoraphobic from never ending abuse from my husband, then my friend, my daughters, former church, and everyone I used to know. I thought I could heal getting out in the woods but losing the car I have not been able to get anywhere since 2022. Losing my dog who was a guide for me with DID does not help me mentally and emotionally either.
There is no public transportation, but I don't have funds to use it if there was. I am walking out of here at age 62 with DID into a world where homicide is my likely outcome. My last venture down the block, I met a drunk addict ex con who told me he was going to rape me with one of 7 knives. I have not left the house since then. This is why I name names. I want evidence of their neglect. They can call themselves Christian all they want. If the shoe fits.
I asked Linda to help me obtain safety for me and accountability for Karl on February 2, 2020, and to make ONE PHONE CALL to gather a group of Christian men, including her husband, to hold Karl Ulrich accountable for domestic violence. She never did.
What I thought would resolve in 48 hours turned into a nightmare of Karl knowing that he could do anything, including murder me and no one was coming to help. Incidentally, Linda had me do a danger assessment on February 21, 2022, with Sarah McDougal of WILD (I do NOT recommend her or her website). My score was 26. A score of 18 is extreme danger. Why Linda and others ignored it, I don't know. They shredded my soul. I believe they want me dead. I don’t know why they bothered to save me from suicide in November 2019. To spew Jesus’ love bullshit and bible verses while tearing hurting humans to pieces seems to be the normal Christian double speak.
Disturbingly, my former therapist Deborah Metroka, MA, LCPC, Metroka Counseling in Algonquin, IL wrote on February 10, 2020, that Karl regretted saving me from suicide and on March 9, 2020, that Karl was willing to loan me his guns so that I can commit suicide again. She documented domestic violence on June 29, 2020, and then the next week was talking with my abuser behind my back trying to help him get me committed. She is insane!!!! Her license number is #180066344.
On February 2, 2022, Linda Ross sent an email stating "I am agreed with Karen that Karl needs to be rebuked and extorted by good men such as yourself regarding his chronic abuse and murderous intent. If necessary, we will provide you documentation as you are strengthened in your case." Her husband is supposed to be one of those "good men." Linda's turn is coming. Scott Ross is an asshole and if the tables were turned and she came to me, Scott would be flying right within 24 hours or not breathing, and yes, it is in the bible so it is godly. If it is good enough for David to cheat and kill her husband, it is good enough for me.
When I worked for The Evangelical Alliance Mission for five years for Steve Edlin, MA, LMFT, they had The Timothy Network whose only job was accountability. I worked directly on organizing, planning, and implementing accountability so I was not asking for anything not biblical. Steve Edlin, now at Sweetwater Retreat in Buchanan, Michigan also ignored his own program for dealing with abuse and sin by Christians toward me.
He wrote on January 21, 2020, that he was surprised I would think of exiting my home given I have shelter, food, etc. and asked why I was chasing Karl away. Edlin helped Karl Ulrich get out of a mess of DUI's and other legal trouble and was aware of Karl's violence the entire time I worked for him. Karl was working for the Baptist General Conference during all of this. I am confident that everyone I once knew has gone mad or I finally woke up to the true condition of the church which is egregious.
In terms of me exiting my home, I wanted to stay in my home and Karl leave. I asked only for my home, for the safety and familiarity of what I had. This is a NORMAL request of someone with DID or autism. Familiarity, consistency, calm. He had the means. I was under financial control. Christian men and women support domestic violence, pedophilia, incest, coercive control, war, greed, and atta boy porn hub cheating.
When I met with Linda on February 2, 2020, her response to cheating and domestic violence was that Karl would not do that and why am I so lazy. I did a post about that.
Karl was playing victim and for whatever reason, Linda fell for it. I always worked and attended college with a near 4.0 GPA and was raising two traumatized daughters in a hell home. I did pretty good with undiagnosed DID, Autism, and C-PTSD.
Throughout the marriage I went to every source possible for accountability for Karl but the church, being the church, blamed my children and me for Karl's rage. I had NO IDEA this is the norm. It took finding thousands of stories to discover the church is full of legalism and lack of values or integrity.
Karl's night job was sleep overs at other women's houses. I have over 200 names, addresses, phone, and email I am happy to make public that I pulled from his phone and computer, including the principal of Jacobs High School in Algonquin, IL, Barb Valle, who knew he was married. Ben Gesing, PsyD, Karl's therapist, thinks I need reality testing for delusions of affairs, so I added his wife's home contact information to the list. She is a linebacker anyway.
Apparently Converge Worldwide and the Baptist General Conference agree with porn, drinking, cheating, and abuse because not even one stepped up to help. Ash Padharia, Streamwood, IL (who I am certain is a demon) in IT who had unbelievable surveillance on our computers, phones, and tablets, and Linda Pietrzak Ross were in a race to label ME with all kinds of mental health names while ignoring abuse. Dr. Jessica Taylor of Victim Focus in the UK has a LOT to say to both of them.
On February 2, 2020, I did not yet know that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder and then later discovered autism. Linda is an insurance salesperson so her mental health assessments about me she broadcast publicly are nonsensical, but indicative of narcissism. How Steve Edlin, MA, LMFT did not recognize DID or autism over five years is a mystery to me. He also endorses domestic violence.
I have hundreds of hours of audio recordings that were ignored by all. Here is a selection. Apparently, Evangelicals approve of this type of behavior.
Audio Recordings
May 11, 2020, abuse of Jackie and Christine Ceplecha (my daughters) that Linda Pietrzak Ross Cary, IL, and the Baptist General Conference (Converge Worldwide) were aware of. They defended Karl. Linda tried to involuntarily commit ME on August 21, 2021, then wrote to a friend of mine denying it in early 2022. I was seeing a therapist, Ed Groenendal (ISSTD) in Crystal Lake, IL, who also ignored Karl's abuse. He was the 5th DID diagnosis. How that was missed for 40 years tells you the retardation and corruption of mental and medical health.
On July 11, 2021, Linda wrote "I've been trying to discern truth so that we can better fight the subtle and crafty lies of the evil one that are trying to destroy you." (That would be my husband and his abuse that she projected toward me as the problem. Remember Linda had the danger assessment score and admits Karl being dangerous. She is so close to identifying “the evil one trying to destroy me” but she is brainwashed by the Church of Destruction of Women and Children.
In the next sentence she wrote "I realize that you need me to learn to just listen and accept what you are saying without probing the basis for your belief or asserting that THE SITUATION MAY NOT BE AS SEVERE AS YOU PERCEIVE IT TO BE!"
A year later she wrote on July 25, 2022 "Karl is truly a dangerous man that needs to be rebuked, not accommodated."
Professionals have my clinical notes and most of Linda's writing and it was because of them, I learned about the narcissistic back handed compliment and invalidation. Sorry / Not sorry.
Karl Ulrich admitting to physical abuse of my children on audio May 11, 2020 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lITBpbV7nTXEydbCUVO153o6iCRaAglA/view?usp=sharing
May 29, 2020 - “Dr” Ben Gesing, license #071008934 and Deborah Metroka license #180066344 (Algonquin, IL) therapists ignored this recording and tried to commit ME, not Karl Ulrich. Karl Ulrich screaming at me and threatening suicide
April 3, 2020 - I have a long list of Karl’s debt from the beginning of our marriage. Karl Ulrich is a pathological psychopath supported by The Evangelical Alliance Mission, Baptist General Conference, Harvest Bible Chapel and CUSD300 claiming Karl had to pay off my $5000.00 credit cards
May 9, 2020 - Karl Ulrich cheating and deflecting to me.
“At least you are out of this terrible relationship, right?” Are you the one fucking around?
I have no family support. In true fashion of narcissists and gang stalking, they isolated me from everyone. In fact, Deborah Metroka kept insisting I "get a job." She somehow missed Psych 101 on safety and stability to establish functioning. Immediately after firing Metroka, the next therapist wrote, “she did not receive the care she needed” and included that I cannot work. I wish I could. I live in chronic dissociation now.
Steve Edlin was recorded stating in writing that "I am lucky Karl puts up with me and I should be grateful Karl gives me a home, food, and heat." I worked for Steve at The Evangelical Alliance Mission from 2003 to 2009. He was keenly aware of domestic violence. His response was to dig my abusive husband out of a stack of DUI's and an invalid suspended and revoked driver's license. Once that was fixed, Karl became filled with rage toward my daughters and me. Steve did NOTHING TO HELP MAKE MY GIRLS AND ME SAFE.
May 29, 2020, Karl Ulrich screaming at me (I have 100's of hours of audio recordings that were ignored by professionals, cops, mental health, and worst of all my former best Christian friend, Linda who put my children in inescapable danger for their entire childhood.
Linda and every other woman from HBC made my children and me the problem. If we just fixed ourselves, Karl would act better. I was caught in a mine field of gaslighting, manipulation, and inability to rise above the deep waters as my daughters and I drowned.
May 11, 2020, Karl Ulrich, Algonquin, IL sharing his true feelings about my daughters who cops, therapists, and Christians ignored.
The saddest part of this audio is that Karl love bombed my children into thinking he was a great dad and would make a great stepdad. Christine was 7 years old when she asked him if he would be her dad. He proposed to me about a week later. The day of our wedding he drastically changed from love bomb to rage, attacking my oldest daughter Jackie first.
Without safety, I have been unable to break from memory loss and executive functioning deficits from C-PTSD from long term domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. I went from Executive Administrative Assistant to barely functioning.
I mentioned that I have dissociative identity disorder that went undiagnosed for 57 years. I am the only person in the world that I know of with no support systems. The support I thought I did have with my Christian friends, Christian husband, Christian therapists, and Christian church were all predatory in nature and took advantage of memory gaps to annihilate me in court during divorce.
I should never have needed disability. I was not able to acquire disability because of a series of dirty therapists who did not submit paperwork on time or at all, including Ed Groenendal, ISSTD. My blog has documentation of this. This is known as Institutional Abuse or Betrayal Trauma.
I was 18 classes from a master’s degree in psychology with a 3.9 GPA at Crown College I was never able to finish due to a controlling, abusive husband, and narcissistic former friend, loyal to my abusive husband, and a host of "professional" people in mental health sabotaged my ability to receive disability.
My student loans went into default due to inability to finish school or have a means to pay them back which eliminates all government programs as a means of help. That was Linda's first advice early on to go into bankruptcy, stop paying student loans and then raged at me in the end about financial responsibility. That is the reality of covert, psychopathic, narcissistic abuse, and their army of enablers whose agenda is soul murder leading to suicide, homicide through homelessness, poverty, through isolation.
I cannot use shelters. First, because they only accept people with police reports and near-death experiences, and second, is due to DID, I often cannot sleep at night, on a schedule, and certainly child alters would not feel safe among strangers at night. Linda and my daughters, Jackie being a nurse, knew this and I find them to be so unbelievably cruel, there are no words.
I share my story with others to learn to prevent them from experiencing profound soul murder and isolation that occurs due to a lifetime of abuse and betrayal trauma.
I appreciate financial contributions to my account and for kindness from strangers. I cannot remember when I last felt safe, if ever. I cannot think of anyone who was ever a friend, more like opportunists looking for easy narcissistic food. I don't see red flags, and I don't have the ability to protect myself from danger, so I isolate while living in unrelenting fear every minute of every day.
I very much feel invisible. I think my trauma was always apparent. I thought a world with 3 billion Christians would make all of us safer, fed, homed, loved, and cared for. I was sucked into a vortex of brainwashed predators that I could never escape. At 62, I can say that I was never loved, and I never had a real friend. I always wished for both.
